Spy Smasher is Smashing! [Review]

Last night, I revved up the old Roku and watched Spy Smasher Returns on Netflix. Spy Smasher Returns is a film created by putting together pieces of the Spy Smasher serial from the 1940's, and if you're interested in running any kind of pulp-era adventure game, you need to watch this film.

It's not for the story - a basic little thing about Nazi saboteurs and spies operating in the United States and getting their orders from a fellow called The Mask who operates from a submarine off the coast (the coast of what - who knows?).

The acting isn't bad for a serial, but not Oscar caliber either. No - the two reasons you want to watch this film (or the serial) are the stunts and the settings.

Gaming is often about scenes - setting the stage, introducing the players and then shouting "Action!", which makes movies and television shows excellent fodder for the imagination. Spy Smasher has some excellent settings to drop the players into - a clay factory with roaring ovens, a rickety-looking lumber yard building, a Nazi submarine, a houseboat, a train, a motor boat, etc. All provide interesting obstacles and opportunities for supporting the action.

The second reason has little to do with gaming - the stunts. Absolutely fabulous stunts (and the same goes for the old Captain America serial, which I've mentioned before) that remind you how fun movies were before CGI came into existence. These knuckleheads go all out in the fight scenes - leaping around, flipping each other, bludgeoning one another with balsa wood chairs), Spy Smasher roars around on a motorcycle like a madman, a wooden tower gets blown up and collapses, a motor boat takes on a submarine, etc.

So - my highest rating (892 stars) goes to Spy Smasher Returns / Spy Smasher. Check it out HERE folks.

Greatest Fantasy Cartoon of All Time?

No. Not really.

But, I will put the last 15 minutes of this old Japanese cartoon about iron age Scandinavians up against any fantasy cartoon on the market for pure, gonzo greatness. You have no idea how much I want to start statting things up for this, but I can't. I'd ruin it for you. So, go out and find it - I watched it on Netflix as The Little Viking Prince.

Later, if you're good (and if I find some time in between watching my pride and joy in her latest play and converting "one last file" for Rappan Athuk (note: not the last file, really) and writing NOD 15 and editing Blood & Treasure) I'll post the rest of Mother Goose & Goblins. If not tonight, then Sunday ('cause Saturday is Dragon by Dragon day).

Oh - and I'll swear that the person doing Horus/Hols voice in that cartoon also did Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer in the Rankin-Bass production of same.

Remember Superman vs. Giant Deathbot?

Remember the Superman vs. Giant Deathbot post I did a week or two ago? Well, I was going for something like this ...



Awesome stuff, and an adventure cartoon starring Superman would always be welcome in the Nod household.

Hat tip to The Barking Alien (who I'm now going to associate with Krypto)

DeviantArt on the way boys and girls ...

Ruminations on Doctor Who and the Failings of the Imperial Office Corps

Over Christmas, the fam and I bought a router so I could be productive on my new laptop. As an added bonus, we discovered how ridiculously easy it was to hook the Wii up to the internet. I now have access to Netflix via the Wii on the TV, which brings me to Doctor Who.

A while back, I briefly got into watching the new Doctor Who series on BBC America, and I almost enjoyed them. They were okay, I guess, but didn't totally click with me. This tends to be the case with me and new sci-fi - it's not a matter of dislike (well, sometimes it is), but more often a case of "meh". Strangely enough, I like sci-fi but I'm not that big on special effects, and I'm really bored with computer generate effects. Anyways ... with the Netflix hook-up, I've started watching old Doctor Who episodes, specifically the ones starring Tom Baker. I've never seen them before, but I instantly fell in love with them - right up my alley. I just finished watching "City of Death" and that brings me to the Imperial Office Corps.



The villain in City of Death is Julian Glover, who played General Veers in Empire Strikes Back. As with most people my age who are into sci-fi and fantasy (and science-fantasy), I've probably spent a tad more time thinking about Star Wars than is healthy, and in those ruminations it occurred to me that Veers was really the only Imperial in all the movies who ever succeeded at, well, anything. Grand Moff Tarkin and all his little moffs failed to destroy the rebellion with their technological terror, the various admirals were like the Keystone Cops (clumsy and stupid) and even Vader was a big failure - never caught Luke, never turned Luke, eventually got his ass kicked by Luke. The Emperor also failed in his attempts to turn and kill Luke, undone by his earlier (and maybe only, for all we know) success of turning Vader and establishing the Empire. Veers alone, in true British bad-ass style, didn't screw up - he took out the force field on Hoth and his forces over-ran the secret base.

Now, most students of military history will not be surprised about this. Totalitarian states tend to have crappy officer corps because the ruling elite fear putting competent people in charge of their military - that's a recipe for a coup. Incompetence among the overlord's minions isn't just a Hollywood invention.

So here's to Veers, the finest officer in the clown college of evil incompetence that was the Galactic Empire!

HUZZAH!

And Boba Fett doesn't count, he was an independent contractor.

Two Bad Brothers That We Know So Well

One of my favorite game mechanicians of the d20 era was Erica Balsley. She was a monster gal - did some great stuff for the Tome of Horrors and Creature Catalog and did some neat conversions for Bard Games' old Atlantis setting. Years ago, I came across a template she wrote for the "Mephit Lord". The mephit lord template was applied to mephits to make high-powered elemental baddies like the Steam Lord, Lord Miser, Smoke Lord, etc. All mephit lords had an attack called a "clutch", which tipped off their origins ...

Now, I've long since lost track of that original template - it was on some message somewhere - but it eventually showed up in the Book of Templates Deluxe Edition. I still have the stats for Heat Lord and Snow Lord, though, and here they are in Swords & Wizardry format.

Fire Lord: HD 12; AC -3 [22]; Atk 2 claw (1d6+4) or 1 clutch (4d6); Move 15 (Fly 24); Save 3; CL/XP 18/3800; Special: Fire mephit abilities + breath weapon (4d4), clutch, regenerate 4 hp/round, only harmed by +2 or better magic weapons.

The clutch of the Heat Lord deals 4d6 points of fire damage to living opponents, and instantly melts or incinerates any non-living, non-magical matter of man-size or smaller. Magic items are allowed a saving throw to resist this effect.

Ice Lord: HD 12; AC -3 [22]; Atk 2 claw (1d6+4) or 1 clutch (4d6); Move 15 (Fly 24); Save 3; CL/XP 18/3800; Special: Ice mephit abilities + breath weapon (4d4), clutch, regenerate 4 hp/round, only harmed by +2 or better magic weapons.

The clutch of the Snow Lord deals 4d6 points of cold damage to living opponents and instantly freezes and shatters any non-living, non-magical matter of man-size or smaller. Magic items are allowed a saving throw to resist this effect.

Mephit Lords are always accompanied by 2d6 mephits of the appropriate type. They can summon 1d6 mephits with a 75% chance of success.

The relevant mephit stats are:

Fire Mephit

A fire mephit breathes a 15-foot cone of fire that deals 1d8 damage (saving throw for half). Once per hour it can cast burning hands, and once per day it can heat metal. A fire mephit regenerates if it is touching a flame at least as large as a torch.

• Fire Mephit: HD 3; AC 2 [17]; Atk 2 claw (1d6); Move 12 (Fly 21); Save 14; CL/XP 5/240; Special: Harmed by magic weapons, breath weapon, burning hands, heat metal, regenerate, summoning.

Ice Mephit

Ice mephits breathe a 10-foot cone of ice shards that deals 1d4 damage (saving throw for half) and imposes a -2 penalty to AC and attack rolls. Once per hour an ice mephit can cast magic missile and once per day they can chill metal. An ice mephit regenerates if touching a piece of ice of or if the ambient temperature is 32°F. or below.

• Ice Mephit: HD 3; AC 1 [18]; Atk 2 claw (1d6); Move 12 (Fly 21); Save 14; CL/XP 5/240; Special: Harmed by magic weapons, breath weapon, chill metal, magic missile, regenerate, summoning.

And if you use these guys against your players, make sure you have them do the song and dance first - it will make the TPK that much more satisfying. Nobody likes to get their butt kicked by a song and dance man.

--

Image from Patrick Owlsley - check out his blog if you love old cartoons!

Influences

Most folks have seen the 15 games in 15 minutes meme floating around. Up till now, I haven't participated because, frankly, I don't think I could list 15 games that were influential on me. I've played most of the editions of D&D and AD&D, and they obviously have had some influence on me, for better or worse. I played some Warhammer Fantasy Battle and enjoyed it, likewise with Marvel Superheroes. That about sums up my wargaming and roleplaying gaming history. As a kid, I loved Battleship, Stratego and Risk, which are nominally about wargaming. Chess was enjoyable, but never really caught my attention - it mostly made me feel smart to say I was "playing chess".

I've tended to fall backward into what one might called Geekishness (though I was always social awkward). When I was younger, I watched Star Trek with my dad and enjoy it to this day, though the spin-offs and reboots don't really interest me. I was there for the beginning of Star Wars - had the action figures, watched the movies, etc. I started playing D&D before I discovered Tolkien and fantasy literature, and I was introduced to comic books after a friend convinced me to run Marvel Superheroes for him - up till then my only contact with superheroes was TV.

So, what are my chief influences?


Batman
Still my favorite Batman, although Brave and the Bold comes close. I like fun superheroes more than dark and serious superheroes. So sue me.


Superfriends
We played lots of Superfriends on the playground in elementary school. Most popular hero - Green Lantern. He could make anything with that ring!


Wonder Woman
Watched this one every week on TV.


Six Million Dollar Man and Bionic Woman
Another one we watched every week. The robot people who could remove their faces scared the crap out of me as a kid.


Incredible Hulk
Another one we watched regularly - and by "we" I mean my family. This was back in the days of one TV per house and watching it together more than apart.


Underdog
My first favorite superhero.


Battleship
Yeah, I had the electronic version. Took forever to set it up - and God forbid you screw up, because then you had to start entering your coordinates all over again.

Dungeons & Dragons
Started with Moldvay red box and in many ways it is still my favorite set of basic rules. The embed code has been disabled, so you'll have to click to see.


Thundarr the Barbarian
Watched Thundarr before I encountered Gamma World, and in truth my first perception of Gamma World was "Wow, it's like a Thundarr RPG".


Jonny Quest
For my money, still the best adventure cartoon ever made. The high tech is make believe but feels real, the attention to detail is great - just love it.


Star Wars
As a kid, it was the alpha and omega.


Star Trek
I watch and enjoy them to this day, probably for the same reason I still love the 60's Batman.

Oh - and a bonus video here (the embed has been disabled). For years I thought that I must have imagined that this existed because I could find no sign of it.

What does 1d10 damage look like?

Apparently, like this ...



Unless you're playing a different edition, in which case this might look like 1d6 damage or 2d6 damage ...