Sunday, April 1, 2012

Every Fool Has His Day!

While watching a Stooges marathon on Antenna TV today, I was kissed by the muse (or maybe bonked by the muse, considering the source). Enjoy a class in a class of it own.

The Stooge

Stooges seem to coast through life, blissful in their ignorance and always coming through in the end.

Requirements: Stooges must have a constitution of at least 15. Their intelligence score can be no higher than 7, and their combined intelligence, wisdom and charisma scores can be no higher than 30.

Hit Dice: d8 (+3 per level after 9th)

Armor: Any

Weapons: Any (but see below)

Skills: None

Advance As: Fighter (in whatever system you play)

Class Features

Stooges can't do much, but they can sure take a punch. A stooge ignores the 1 point of damage every time he or she takes damage. This increases to 2 points at 4th level, 3 points at 8th level and tops out at 4 points at 12th level. Any blow that should kill a stooge often only knocks them for a loop. The stooge may attempt a Fortitude save and, if successul, is only stunned for 1d4 rounds.

As tough as stooges are, you can't call them brave. Stooges suffer a -2 penalty to save vs. fear. On the other hand, their heads are tough to crack. Spell casters who attempt to read their minds must pass a Will save or be struck with confusion for 1d4 rounds.

A stooge can fascinate people with his antics, whether he is tangling with another stooge or with a stubborn inanimate object, just as a bard of equal level. Stooges do not gain a bard's suggestion ability.

When the going gets tough, the stooge gets going. Once per day, they can act as though under the effects of the expeditious retreat spell.

Stooges are masters of unorthodox unarmed combat. Their unarmed attacks inflict 1d4 points of damage at 1st level, 1d6 points of damage at 5th level and 1d8 points of damage at 10th level. Once per day per three levels they can attempt a stunning attack (if they hit, the victim must pass a Fortitude save or be stunned for 1d4+1 rounds). If a stooge is facing three adjacent opponents, they can do a triple slap, rolling once to attack and applying that roll to hit all three of them. Unfortunately, whenever up to three stooges are adjacent to an enemy, it gains the ability to make the same unarmed attack against them.


  1. I would totally play that.

  2. i) Should "the expeditious retreat question" be "...spell"?

    ii) The class could have lots more critical fumbles, but some of them harm enemies (for example if someone fumbles when attacking them, the Stooge falls over and the enemy hits someone on his own side).

    iii) I had the idea that characters like this often put on disguises which the audience can see are ridiculous, but which fool everyone in the story. So maybe they have an 'Improvised Disguise' ability.

  3. The other idea I had was that even when a stooge succeeds at a saving throw, he appears to have failed it. In other words, he'll always fall in the pit, but sometimes he falls in without actually taking damage. More fumbles and such are also good, but I did want to keep the class playable in an actual game.

  4. Always liked the idea of classes based off of low ability scores.

    Another place where a stooge could excel: breaking down doors. At higher levels, they might gain a daily ability to barrel through "epic" barriers like stampeding cattle, walls with shoddy masonry, etc.


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